I am the 33%.

Apparently, statistics show that one in three people will get cancer. Welcome to the club. A part of me has always wondered or suspected, due to some family history. It’s still an earthquake when it hits. “Pleasant” is still not an adjective to describe the moment.

But, at least, I now have more information. Stage 1A. I’m supposed to feel a certain way upon receiving my grade. Gratitude that it was not higher is one. Curiosity about the next step is another. Dr. Google has already informed me of possible next steps. And so has my fellow Star Wars-fan surgeon Dr. B. Next step, meet the oncologist, radiation oncologist, and at my request, genetic services to see if it was my genes or external factors including luck of the draw.

Meantime, I seem to have recovered reasonably quickly after the surgery. Did a 2.5 hour hike 8 days after. Not as fast or long as we had done before, but not bad at all. A good workout. Dr. B did not want to hear of it. I should have been following doctor’s orders to take it easy. I beg to differ. I suppose I choose to have 33 percenters like Ananda Shankar Jayant as my role models. https://www.ted.com/talks/ananda_shankar_jayant_fights_cancer_with_a_dance?language=en

Have lost a little weight and am happy about it. Have tried to eat healthier and stay fitter. Implemented a few plant-based options into my diet gleaned from recommended books like A Cancer Battle Plan and Forks Over Knives cookbook.

A comment on A Cancer Battle Plan. It was a breath of hope and strength when I first read it. Proof, real living proof that we can heal ourselves, that we have some control. And then days later, a deflated balloon when I read about Anne’s death, of cancer. Still, arming ourselves with more information to make better decisions is a net positive. I am grateful to have this knowledge in my arsenal. 

Adios Lumpy! 

Good riddance. Lumpy can’t complain, they got to surf on Waikiki beach before being booted out of this world. Now, the wait to find out if accomplices exist.

The April 8th surgery and hospital care was exemplary, beyond whatever expectations I thought I had. Can't think of anything more they could have done to make me feel safe, calm, and as pain and discomfort-free as possible, all with a little touch of levity and humor.  “Think of it as a spa day” one nurse mused, as she put on pressure wraps around my calves that gently massaged me for hours. Told them how grateful I was to live in the year 2016. I cannot imagine the horrors poor pioneer patients years before had to endure so that best practices could be learnt and passed on to benefit me. I feel a strong urge to pay this forward. I could never be like the heroes before me, voluntary or involuntary ones, but I can at least chip-in a small contribution.

Note to blog - no X-Men powers after radioactive jab. No Spiderman tingling, and no clinging to walls. Bummer.

And if there is a next time, remember to ask for anti-nausea pills. No need to be a hero. Day-after was barfing day. Luckily a client showed up late and I could barf and tidy up before they arrived.

Three efficient March 10th appointments - with surgeon, breast care coordinator nurse, and volunteer who had breast cancer 22 years ago with a few freebies including little pillows for the car ride home after surgery. Decided with surgeon to take it one step at the time. Need to schedule surgery date in the next few days. Apparently they expect to have openings in about 2 to 3 weeks, or after week 4 to accommodate our little trip. Do the breast conservation surgery to remove lumpy and a few sentinel nodes to check for lumpy’s friends. Apparently I will be injected with radioactive material. I hope I remember to check if I have any X-Men powers then. Within 7 days after surgery, results will be out. That, will be the next tipping point.

Meantime, more inspiration from passionate pioneers.
On the clues Nature has left us, and the amazing normality of most of our 10 to 70 trillion cells:
https://www.ted.com/talks/mina_bissell_experiments_that_point_to_a_new_understanding_of_cancer?language=en

Could your medicine be a cell, not a pill?:
https://www.ted.com/talks/siddhartha_mukherjee_soon_we_ll_cure_diseases_with_a_cell_not_a_pill?language=en

I think mortality's reminder drew me to these, and nudged me to participate:
https://www.ted.com/talks/stephen_friend_the_hunt_for_unexpected_genetic_heroes?language=en

https://www.ted.com/talks/john_wilbanks_let_s_pool_our_medical_data?language=en

https://www.ted.com/talks/jay_bradner_open_source_cancer_research?language=en

http://resilienceproject.me/

http://sharethejourneyapp.org/ (if i get an iPhone)

Gallows humor. And lots of great practical advice.

http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/

It’s just the waiting now. Waiting on the next medical appointment. The initial burst of curiosity and investigative impulses, in the age of google, can go pretty wild, cancerously wild. Seems like two obvious paths ahead. Best case, remove lumpy, check around and look for other suspects, finding none, declare safe zone, just return in 6 months. Worst case, lumpy has lots of friends and they are partying all over the place, making a huge mess. Massive clean up has to be ordered. The place is a fixer, it may even be a tear down. I doubt it’ll be a such a bad fixer it has to be labeled tear down. But we won’t know till during and after the surgery. And I won’t know about a date for the surgery until after March 10. And we are going to Hawaii on March 30th. I am not going to change the plans for Hawaii. Either case, it will make no difference. Either lumpy has no friends or it has friends, another couple of weeks will not make a huge difference.

Instead of friends, I should use the Borg analogy. Lumpy is a Borg ship. Makes for a more realistic metaphor because lumpy is not one entity, it’s a collective, bent on assimilating other living organisms into its gross mutated existence. A collective of parasites that have hitched a ride with me. And this humanoid does not mind being a vessel for other living beings on this journey exploring life. I am already hosting God knows millions of organism in and on me. But for a parasite to come crash our party and take it over, that’s not cool. We will not be taking it sitting down. We must destroy the Borg.

It was a good hike yesterday. A weekly workout to keep up the hiking muscles for the 6 peak challenge we’ve signed up for. My muscles were just fine, and the breathing regulated itself well. It was just will power that wavered. At 3 hours, it took longer than it usually does. Thoughts about the uncertainty ahead is energy sapping. I have stepped up my daily exercise routine. Built-in a few more minutes with weights. Also been pill-popping additional vitamins and supplements, and staying away from my beloved sweets. Preparing the troops for the battle ahead.

There is something about familiarity.  One gets used to things as they are and one gets comfortable. I have lived with this body for 46 years now, I’m used to it, I even like it most days. Jokes about my tiny breasts don’t make me cringe. I like my tight fit looking little boobs. They make me look athletic, I think. So that’s my self image, an athlete, though I’m not really one anymore. A nature lover too. One who likes few things more than being out there and feeling the freedom and belonging of being one with nature, whether that was with windsurfing then or hiking now. I am not totally comfortable with add-ons, accessories and fussy extras. I have to take off all add-ons, including the wedding ring, when I go to bed. I hate wearing bras. I see them only as a necessary nuisance to be socially acceptable. Can’t have those tits showing. Would have been great if the bra burning feminists managed to turn that fad into a boring norm. So why then do I get emotional at the thought of losing a breast or two? Wouldn’t that solve the bra problem? Wouldn’t that lead to a whole new level of freedom? How much worse would the emotional weakness have been if I had a different self image? One of a sexy, cleavage-showing lady in CFM stilettos. I can’t imagine. It’s a self-defensive thought. It’s all relative. The Keep Calm and Carry On sticker stares me in the face.

TED talks, the perfect companion on the exercise bike. Love those nuggets on cosmology, dark matter, Higgs boson discovery, creativity, understanding, etc., but I had never sought out talks about cancer, until now.

Foodie that I am, this grabbed me: Can we eat to starve cancer. Oh yeah! https://www.ted.com/talks/william_li?language=en

Here, she’s asking questions like - why don’t we hear about cancer in the heart or in the muscles: http://www.ted.com/talks/eva_vertes_looks_to_the_future_of_medicine

He started training for a triathlon while undergoing chemo: My survival story -- what I learned from having cancer | Martin Inderbitzin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5QBH3wDrQY

Claim your experience, don’t let it or others claim it for you. And oh by the way, get off that cross. (a woman after my own no-drama heart): https://www.ted.com/talks/debra_jarvis_yes_i_survived_cancer_but_that_doesn_t_define_me?language=en

Feeling the passion for potential discoveries out in space is like feeling the passion for a future limited only by our imagination. Cheers to the pioneers that have given another cancer statistic hope: 

https://www.ted.com/talks/david_agus_a_new_strategy_in_the_war_on_cancer?language=en

https://www.ted.com/talks/jorge_soto_the_future_of_early_cancer_detection?language=en

https://www.ted.com/talks/dean_ornish_says_your_genes_are_not_your_fate

I had never sought out images of breast cancer either, until now. Time to set certain expectations:

http://www.breastcancer.org/pictures

http://www.medicinenet.com/breast_cancer_pictures_slideshow/article.htm

Intro to lumpy:

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/mucinous

http://www.breastcancer.org/pictures/types/dcis/idc

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/idc/treatment/local

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/kimmel_cancer_center/centers/breast_cancer_program/rare_tumors/mucinous_breast_cancer.html

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/714088

http://www.aboutcancer.com/breast_mucinous.htm

https://www.aacrfoundation.org/CancerTypes/Pages/default.aspx?utm_source=googlegr&utm_medium=searchad&utm_term=foundation&utm_content=cancertypes&utm_campaign=aboutcancer

http://www.cancerresearch.org/cancer-immunotherapy/impacting-all-cancers/breast-cancer?gclid=CjwKEAiAgeW2BRDDtKaTne77ghgSJACq2U4bAQ6vmP4m4PCBcKaED_VQCUsovCJtu2gsAyYmW3VflhoCJ5nw_wcB

Seems like there are thousands upon thousands of possibilities. Pros and cons of our fantastically evolved and endlessly complicated human body.